crackheads have better skin than me

I will freely admit I'm addicted to the show Intervention. It's purely voyeuristic and pathetic, but I love it. You get to watch addicts at their worst, and often times go through rehab, and see an update at the end of the show to see the positive impact the intervention had on their lives. I love it. It might seem strange to you, but the question I am left to ask myself after almost every episode is "how come that crack whore has such clear skin?"

I have been plagued by bad skin since literally junior high, and it sucks. I've tried many topical prescription meds such as Retin A, and also several antibiotic treatments, but to no long-term avail. I read online to put toothpaste on zits to dry them out, and I seriously have toothpaste on my face as I type these words. I recently went on a cucumber salad detox diet that was supposed to cleanse my system and stop diet-related acne. Nothing works with any consistency. It is beyond frustrating and embarrassing to be 34 with a broken out face. The only time I don't feel self-conscious about it is when I'm at home with my family.

I am jealous of people who take their clear skin for granted. I feel like I was cursed with bad skin. It's one thing to have a face full of acne when you're seventeen, but when you're a mom, a woman in the workforce, a wife, an adult, it takes on a whole new meaning. A new level of importance.

I made an appointment to see my doc on Monday to try to start some other form of treatment. We'll see how that goes. I'm doing some research into Accutane; I've heard it works, but had terrible side effects. I'll have to weigh the pros and cons.